Sunday, June 5, 2011

If I only Knew...

This is Marty in time out. If only my consequences
 for bad choices were this simple
I want more insight! If I could live life knowing if the decisions I am making are mistakes or not I'd find things much easier. I can only imagine the kind of parent I would be, far better I'm sure. The fact is as a parent I have the responsibility for several decisions regarding Marty's life and that's somewhat scary, correction thats outright terrifying. When I make decisions for myself I am the only one who faces the consequences for those decisions (at least I hope that's the case); but when I make choices for Marty I risk pain and heartache for him and his future development.I can't be sure that the choices I make are going to bring the best results for Marty, or that the costs won't be severely emotionally damaging It's the riskiest part of being a parent. Yet Marty always trusts my decisions. Not to say we don't have some conflicts because he doesn't want to go to bed at a certain time, or wants to play something, or watch something that I disallow, those usual parent child disagreements; but ultimately he's well behaved and follows my leadership.
I was thinking a lot about that this week as we've been going through a difficult time at home and I'm making tough calls regarding Marty's life. As I contemplated how much he fully trusts me I thought about how I've been a difficult child to God. I realized God has all the insight, when He decides my life He knows the outcome, He knows how difficult some things will be, and He knows what I'll look like on the other side of the tough stuff; but I fail to trust Him. I'm stubborn in my belief that I have all the control, and fail to recognize what a mess things would be if I did. I'm working very hard to let go of the reins. And as always Marty inspires me.

I've loved watching him Grow!
and I can't wait to see him grow into an amazing man!

So I'm giving it all to God and realizing that maybe as a parent it would be easier if I only knew what the outcome would be, but as child of God I have to trust Him because He already knows!


  1. Good thoughts! Makes me think about my parenting...

  2. My aunt Kathy wrote me this today and I asked if I could share it because it was perfect:

    Hi Heather, I just want you to know that I LOVE the way I see you leaning on the Lord for direction. It reminded me of something I read by Max Lucado in a book (Experiencing the Heart of Jesus) we use at Sunday School and I wanted to share with you. It said (and I quote)What does God do when we are in a bind? that question can be answered with one word; fight. He fights for us. he steps into the ring and points us to our corner and takes over."You need only to remain calm; the Lord will fight for you"(Ex:14:14). His job is to fight, Our job is to TRUST. Just trust, not direct, or question. Or yank the steering wheel out of his hands. Our job is to pray and wait. Nothing more is necessary; Nothing more is needed. "He is my defender; I will not be defeated"(Ps. 62:6)!!!
    You are a precious child of God, Heather and so is Marty. We love you and are proud of the Christian woman that you are and the values you are teaching to your son. You cannot possibly go wrong with God in the drivers seat!!! Just know we pray for you and love you. Aunt Kathy and Uncle Jerry